I miss the days when we used to drink for fun instead of drinking to get away from the pain
Do you ever look at a picture of yourself and not even recognize it. That person isn’t you anymore, they’re a stranger
Because you have changed, and not for the better.
I don’t know if you remember every nook and cranny about me. I’d like to think that after 3 years together you’d still remember random petty things about me that not many other people do. I hope you remember my letters especially, and that I’ve never sent one of them. I’ve been spending the past 4 months of my life staring at blank pages of paper; uninspired and empty . I’ve tried to write you hundreds of letters but I never get past the first line, but today I feel different. And maybe tomorrow I’ll be angry and hateful towards you but I need to record how I feel as hope that maybe someday in the near future I’ll have more and more days like today. I guess I grew too dependent of you . And now that you’re gone I’ve been forced to look at things differently . But just because my world doesn’t spin around you doesn’t mean that at one point you weren’t the center to my universe, because as hard as I can try to regret you. You taught me more than anyone I’ve ever met . And even if our strings never cross for as long as we live , your finger prints are stained across my heart and my soul. I’ve been spending a lot of my time lately wondering if what we had was real love . And sometimes I believe that if it was real I wouldn’t need to question what we had so much. And I guess I’ve learned that this is what its like to be young and in love. Because now I can spend my whole life figuring it out or find someone or something that will top what we had . Either way, neither sound like a waste of time . I know that we didn’t end off on good terms, and as much as it kills me to not be in your life I don’t know if I will ever be a friend to you . But today I feel content in knowing that if we were meant to be together truly, we will find each other again at some point in time and I trust the universe in doing what’s best for me. I will never forget the time we spent together and what you did to me. You saved me at the exact time in life when I needed to be saved, and I don’t know if you walking into my life was pure coincidence or Gods plan, but walking into my heart was one of the most magnificent experiences of my life and for that I will always look at our memories in fondness, even if there are none more to be made . Please know that every time there’s a beautiful night sky above me, I will think of you and how they were your favorite . But I can not live my life for you anymore . And Even though you’ve moved on with your life, I haven’t quite been able to . But like you said, I’m young and I have an entire life full of love and adventure in front of me. Maybe you were just one small adventure in my life. Like a single star in an endless sky of galaxies and planets. Although it makes me sad knowing you won’t be there every step of the way, I need to learn how to live without you. And I’ll spend every day of forever trying.
1. There’s a reason schools teach Shakespeare instead of John Green; you make your own life, it’s not written in the stars, waiting to start until you find that person with the perfect smile
2. People are a hell of a lot smart than you think. Shut your mouth, stop thinking you know everything, and listen.
3. Getting close and being vulnerable is scary as hell, But you know what else it is? Worth it.
4. Reason really is the doctor to love.
5. The moment you feel your happiness being dictated by another person, take a break from them.
6. Take a step back and look around, you have more friends than you think.
7. Growing up is going to happen and it’s going to be tough. Just stay close to those around you, you’re all in it together.
8. If you’re still checking their Facebook/Instagram/tumblr, you’re never going to get over them.
9. Everything seems worse in the morning. Don’t fall for it, it’s deceiving.
10. No need to be so intense all the time. People get tired of swimming in the deep end, sometimes they need a break in the shallow part of the pool.
11. Stop avoiding everything. Get out of bed, get dressed, go to school, go to work. It sucks at first but it’s part of the healing process.
12. If the person makes you feel like shit and you still go back to them, it’s an abusive relationship.
13. Headphones are great, but listen to music aloud every once in a while. Sometimes you need to scream a song so everyone can hear you.
14. Boundaries are a must.
15. You can be a caring person, but you need to be happy with yourself before you try to make others happy.
16. Try and understand other’s intentions and situation before you get angry with them.
17. Tough love is necessary sometimes.
18. You can’t fix people no matter how hard you try. Get this engrained in your mind.
19. Surround yourself with people who will love and support you.
20. Loneliness is lethal and makes you have a distorted view of things.
21. No one hates you more than you hate yourself. Stop being your own enemy.
22. Someone can only hurt your feelings if you allow them to.
23. Getting your shit back in order is five times as hard as it is to mess it all up.
24. Listen to your parent’s advice.
25. Be open to anything and everything. Life isn’t fun when you’re a closed book.
26. Talking about your problems is great, but there comes a point when talking about it becomes dwelling on the past and it drains everyone around you. Know when you’ve hit this point.
27. A lot of people don’t like their shit showing. More people than you know are going through hard times.
28. Distract yourself.
29. Don’t be so easily swayed, a lot of claims out there are not true.
30. Some seasons of your life are harder than others. This too shall pass.
It seems like every single person i let into my life turns out to be a total fucking asshole.
I keep my guard up and never let people in, and as soon as i do they stab me in the back. I’ve only ever had one friend that didn’t hurt me and fuck me over and she lives across the fucking country. It hurts to realize it must be me
there must be something wrong with me because this has happened to me my entire life.
I cant seem to get close to anyone and its fucking lonely
I depend on people too much